For career, for higher studies or for family we end up shifting to places. What if we are in love with someone and need to leave them and shift. Does this relationship end there or we can continue it even after being away? Now that’s what is called as LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
When I was in my college, I met this guy (Whom I’m happily married now) who was already working by then. He was from my native, but his work was such that he would keep traveling to Nigeria. He would be there for months based on his projects and starting a long distance relationship.
That’s around 2002, where calling was expensive, yet he would do his best. But yes, we have spent hrs on cyber centers chatting with each other.
Long-distance relationships were difficult, in terms of time zone, expenses, network issues etc. and more of all we missed those surprising stuff.
List of things that we did while we were in the phase of Long-distance relationship:
- Contacting each other: whenever either was free, we would try to contact each other. If both are available at the same time, then it’s the icing on the cake. Since bunking college was the best part of college days, it was worth it. We would go for hrs and hrs discussing future, planning lot of things, discussing food, how are we going to live etc. etc. etc.… no limits. But surely fun.
- Less angry: I did notice, during this time, we barely had fights between each other. He was calmer (normally he is), always understanding. Even if there were fights, they never lasted long. We would call back and sort it quite soon, as we were so used to each other by then.
- Writing letters: we would chat, talk over the phone but then even write those long emails. When I had hell lot of grammars, and he was very sure not to do any mistakes, while sending any emails or letters to me. he even used to write letters and hand it over to me when he would meet me.
- Transparent: we would be honest with everything we are doing, whether going out with friends or chatting with someone friends. We had to trust each other and surely would not hurt each other by hiding anything. By then we did have few common friends and you know how it can cause trouble in any relationship.
- Excitement: surely there was this excitement to meet, which kept the love growing. We never missed a chance to meet, and the best part was he was in town for 7 days. And those 7 days were surely the best day. Everyday we met, movies, friends, food everything was there. (surely knew our limits)
- It can be stressful: at times, this sort of relationship can be very stressful. As time management can be challenge, miss out on any update to the other person, and then he or she comes to know through someone else, would add up fuel to the fire.
- It’s expensive: then spending on internet was expensive. Had to save every extra penny to spend it at cybercafe. Honestly, I would write the notes for my colleagues and earn some extra amounts.
- Missing those moments: when you are in love, you want to celebrate few moments with them, but then mostly end up missing. You want to be cuddled, pampered and then you miss it.
- Insecurity: Friendships with colleagues, going out lunches or dinners or parties can make you doubt on your relationship.
Long distance relationship problems:
Once a time long distance relationship communication was a big problem. It was a prime fact of creating a misunderstanding. Online makes it easier but still it’s a problem. Because time zone, culture, working time, lifestyle, etc. are causes for miscommunication.
Long distance relationship love feels loneliness. At times, this sort of relationship can be very boring. The monotonous situation day after day creates mental sickness.
Uncontrolled Living :
Mental and physical distance, emotion, timezone, unlimited communication, self careless, etc, are causes of uncontrolled living. Long-term uncontrolled living creates mental, physical, social, familial problems.
In addition to other people, the long distance relationship struggles continue with one’s feelings, anger, doubt, insecurity, and understanding. Long distance relationship effects make a person mentally disappointed.
Long distance relationship breaks up is a common issue. Because sometimes long distance relationships failing to maintain a smooth relationship and finally create huge problems and happen to break up.
Tips for long distance relationship:
- Try to understand the circumstances
- Avoid miscommunications
- Try to talking too much
- Increase sharing and avoid misunderstanding
- Give surprising gifts
- Support each other
- Minimize long-distance relationship issues
- Spend funny moments
- Increase trust
- Make future planning
How does a long distance relationship work?
It’s easy, it’s difficult this cannot be said or advised by anyone as this would be different for each person. But if you are truly in love, you will overcome all the hurdles, find the real happiness.
But I think sometimes to understand the true value of your love, it’s good to be in a long-distance relationship, as it gives a clear vision. It’s a one-off experience overall.
Having said all this, I had some good moments in my relationship, unconditional love, so this helps me be positive in writing and sharing the same. If you think you have some similar moments, do share with us.